19 Ways for Couples to Stop Fighting Over Money

1. HAVE GUIDELINES. Marriage is a partnership so both partners must participate and mutually agree on financial guidelines and budget making.

2. NEGOTIATE. Nothing is set in stone. Your budget and spending guidelines should change just as your lives do. Both partners can negotiate and renegotiate when necessary.

3. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. Wants and needs are two very different things. Make sure the family needs are taken care of before entertaining the thought of spending on each others wants.

4. DON’T TURN ON YOUR SPOUSE. Your spouse is your partner. When times get rough you and your partner must band together to develop a plan of attack.

5. MAINTAIN INDEPENDENCE. Yes, a marriage is a partnership, however this does not mean that each person must lose their financial independence. Agree on a spending amount or ‘allowance’ for each person. The allowance is used as personal spending of their choice.

6. DON’T HIDE IT. Don’t hide the money (income or spending) from your spouse. Trust plays a major role in successful relationships. If you have negotiated a budget that you both are abiding by there should be no reason to hide finances.

7. DON’T SPEND IT IF YOU DON’T HAVE IT. If you don’t have the money at the time you are purchasing it…chances are you can’t afford it.

8. TALK ABOUT IT. Talk about buying big-ticket items. These sorts of purchases impede on guidelines so they too should be agreed upon before spending the money.

9. BE REALISTIC. Fully understand your budget. Know how much your family income is and what your expenses are. Create your budget based on real numbers.

10. DON’T RENEG ON YOUR AGREEMENT. Once you have agreed to something follow the agreement. Breaking it will result in lost trust, frustration and feelings being disrespected.

11. BEWARE OF ‘WHEN’ THINKING. Don’t get caught in ‘when’ thinking – “I’ll pay this off when I get my next pay.” Most of us are guilty of doing this at one point and many of us have realized that ‘when’ never arrives. Usually the money you thought could be used to pay for your purchase has already been allocated towards the budget.

12. KEEP TRACK OF SPENDING. Write down each financial transaction your make, groceries, bill payment, gas, entertainment etc. Visually seeing spending habits will help identify areas where money is being wasted. Note: online banking is a great way to keep track of your spending

13. DON’T BE DRIVEN BY EMOTION. Don’t spend for the emotional high of it. Understand what drives you to spend and realize that careless spending can cause bigger emotional stress. Remember, emotional problems will not be solved with money.

14. BE INFORMED. Educating yourself is crucial in helping make the best decisions possible. There are many laws and incentives impacting your finances that many problems can be avoided if both individuals had the knowledge they needed to make better decisions.

15. FIGHT FAIRLY. Do not use money as a weapon to attack your partner.

16. DECIDE ON YOUR ACCOUNTS. Joint or not to joint…that is the question. Couples have come to many different arrangements when it comes to this. Whether you keep separate accounts, a joint account or both separate and joint accounts it doesn’t matter, just as long as both people are happy with the arrangement.

17. REMEMBER YOU AGREED TO IT. Don’t be resentful if things don’t turn out the way you thought they would. Remember, you agreed to it.

18. USE A SYSTEM FOR BILLS. Who should pay household bills should be discussed. Whether it’s one partner who takes on the responsibility or both people choose to pay them, make sure that there is a system in place for bill paying.

19. REFLECT BEFORE REACTING. Many times relationship problems mask themselves as financially motivated issues. Before reacting to problems that seem to be financial, ask yourself what the root of the problem really is.

By Gina Goldenberg BA, Cert. Ed. -Mess Management http://www.messmanagement.com FREE Mess Management Idea-Pak and E-zine, filled with tips and information articles to help you organize your home or office and simplify your life. Gina Goldenberg may be contacted at http://www.messmanagement.com or info@messmanagement.com

Debtor's Disease - Do You Have It?

Debtor's disease is a silent killer. Killer of respect, marriages, self control, and families. There isn't a part of your life that it won't touch and destroy with it's deadly power. Some of you won't even know you have it for many, many years. It's a sneaky affliction; creeping into your life and slowly but surely taking control of every part of your existence.

Seems a bit of a dramatic description, doesn't it? But, the sad part is, it's all true. Even though we often hate to admit it, debt will control our lives totally. Even when we first realize it, we won't do anything about it. We will deny it, continue to feed it, and give it all it needs to thrive within our lives. Oh, you'll have help, no doubt about that. There are many ways we fuel the fever. Falling into the credit card trap is just the beginning. Self justification is your worst enemy. Why, the human mind is masterful at justifying just about any action, or purchase, given the right circumstances.

The first step is recognizing the disease. Diagnoses of debtor's disease is much harder than you might expect. Oh, the symptoms are very clear for sure. But, since most of us hate to admit our own vulnerabilities and defeat, they can be nearly invisible to the victim. I experienced nearly all of the symptoms below before I finally excepted the fact that I did indeed have the affliction. It is quite a humiliating experience to realize that so many obvious warning signs were present and you continued down the wrong path.

They say hindsight is 20/20; Meaning that the past is clearer when we look back. And, when things go wrong, we like to hope that we would have done things differently if we knew what we know now. Well, I'm hoping I can prevent you from some of that humiliation and financial disaster. You can stop it from growing to destructive levels if you can identify the warnings early on. Identify problems early and fix them. Make no mistake, if the following scenarios apply to your situation, you are headed for financial trouble.

SYMPTOMS

• Requesting credit increases lately?
  Requesting credit increases for no specific major purchase, but because your cards are maxed out, is a sure sign that your spending is out of control. You may be living way beyond your income.


• Do you apply for new credit cards because your current credit balances are maxed out?
  This is just another way to get additional credit especially, when you can't seem to get any more credit increases from your existing creditors.


• Are you rescheduling monthly bill payments due to lack of funds. If you find it increasingly difficult to pay bills on time and according to a consistent schedule, you're probably starting to get into trouble. You should not have to put off paying essential bills.


• Are you using credit to meet your living expenses.
  Credit is not intended to help you live above your income. You should be able to meet all of your essential living expenses with your income. If you have income left for non-essential expenses, great. If not, don't turn to credit to live above your income. It will most certainly result in financial disaster.
  
  Paying essential monthly bills, such as the electric or phone, with credit cards is a serious symptom. Once you turn to credit to pay your monthly bills, you're in serious trouble. Sooner or later the credit cards will be maxed out, you will be refused additional credit increases, and you won't be able to pay those bills.


• Do your credit card payments equal more than 10 -15% of your monthly income?
  Your income to credit ratio is an important part of your credit management picture. The higher your balances, without an increase in income, the lower your credit score. This is true even if you have no derogatory items on your credit history, and are consistently maintaining good payment records.
  
  In most cases, creditors will identify debtor's disease long before the victim realizes his affliction. They will begin to arm themselves against the consequences of the infection when this occurs. Your interest rates and penalties (i.e. late fees, over limit fees) may increase as companies anticipate default. Even they can see you're headed for trouble.

THE CURE

If you answered yes to any or all of the above, you have fallen victim to debtor's disease. Don't let it take control of your life! Fix the problems now. You'll have less stress and be a lot happier. I can say that with confidence. It is such a relief to be able to see an end to the struggle. You will feel as though a great burden has been taken from you when your finances are under control.

And, even though you may experience some difficult periods when you may get discouraged, you'll find those times much less stressful that periods when you worried about how your bills would get paid. Take some serious money management steps to begin your treatment. It's never too late to take control of your finances and make a commitment to debt free living.

• Identify overspending and eliminate it.
  
  Identify where your money goes. Track spending for specified period of time. Eliminate unnecessary expenses. Reduce those you feel you need to keep.


• Develop a plan to become debt free.
  Create a plan to get rid of debt. Use a self help plan or a professional. Whether you choose a counselor, debt consolidation or settlement, or a self help plan, lower debt consistently to manage and eliminate debt. A plan that calls for a consistent monthly commitment until debt is paid will be easier to budget.


• Create a Household budget
  
  Creating a household budget will be essential to your success. It is necessary to bring your living expenses within your income. This is the concept of living within your means. You can create this yourself as well or seek professional help in setting up or maintaining your budget. Your situation and your level of self discipline will determine what will be most successful for you. Find a plan that works for your situation and will be the easiest for you to stick to!


• Implement lifestyle changes that will help you free up money to help pay down debt.
  Consistently apply these extra funds to debt payments to get out of debt faster. The sooner you are free from debt, the sooner you can start investing that money in yourself. Save money everyday on everything you buy and do.

Once you rid yourself of debt, commit to debt free living. Remember, you now know how you made the mistakes, you know how to identify the symptoms, and you have the knowledge and power to implement the cure. You should now be immune to debtor's disease.

Now, you can vaccinate your children, friends, and family with the knowledge to prevent them from falling prey to this life draining affliction. Give them your hind sight and help them build happy, secure, and independent futures for themselves and their families.

Author Resource: Cheryl Johnson is on a mission to become debt free. As publisher of SimpleDebtFreeLiving.com she hopes to guide and encourage others to live debt free through household budgeting, debt management, and money savings tips and strategies that save you money everyday and reduce living expenses.

Create and Maintain a Budget for Your Family's Financial Security

Create and Maintain a Budget

The first step to avoiding the troubles of financial debt is to create and maintain a budget. It’s not as intimidating as it sounds, don’t worry.

First off, create a list of all your monthly income and also a list of your monthly expenses. When determining income, list all sources including alimony, child support, side jobs, etc. In calculating expenses, be sure to include housing, food, transportation, utilities, entertainment, etc. To gain an accurate reflection of actual expenses, sit down each night and write down expenses, just make sure to save receipts. Determine if your income covers all of your expenses. If the answer is no, then some expenses need to be reduced.

Adjust expenses. If it is a small discrepancy, it may mean reducing some minor expenses like entertainment or cell phone plan. If the deficit is larger, you may need to downsize your vehicle or living arrangements. If your income covers all of your expenses, you still may want to trim some of the excess fat off your spending habits. This can free up extra money for things such as vacations or college funds for your children.

Additionally, consider if you need to add new categories. Some areas that are often overlooked are debt reduction, emergency savings funds, and retirement savings. An emergency fund ensures there is an adequate amount available to cover unforeseen events (car emergency, etc), should it arise. This will eliminate the need for using credit which can quickly damage your budget.

There are several advantages to sticking to your budget. Firstly, most people have set financial goals that they would like to reach in the future. Sometimes it may be a trip, a brand new car, or a college education. A budget can help people save money to make these goals a reality. Additionally, many people are crushed under heavy consumer debt. Without a disciplined pattern of spending, it is virtually impossible to make much headway in reducing debt. A personal budget will provide the necessary framework to begin eliminating these inflated account balances.

If executed properly, a budget will allow a person to simultaneously meet their expenses, place money into savings, and pay back outstanding debts. Therefore, it is anyone’s best interest to create and implement a budget.


By Janet Bullard - She may be contacted at http://www.magnoliawalker.com/index.html webmaster@magnoliawalker.com Click here to view more of Janet's articles.
Janet, a homeschooling parent, balances teaching, internet marketing and computer programming. She promotes various products at http://www.magnoliawalker.com/index.html. As part of her service to Christ, she is the webmaster for her church's webpage at http://greenland.magnoliawalker.com. In her spare time she gardens, paints, quilts, and goes trail riding on her Tennessee Walker. Go check out her site and sign up for her weekly newsletter at: http://www.magnoliawalker.com/subscribe.html You may also view her latest newsletter: Christian Pen Pal Newsletter at http://www.penpalezine.com